Defining Moments

 At some point in every one's life, we experience a "defining moment". One of those moments in which our life changes drastically, or we experience an epiphany of personal revelation. At that point, we make a life decision as to which path we choose, and these points in our lives help define WHO we are, HOW we live, and WHAT we are going to do from that point on. There are many defining moments we live through and evolve ourselves as a human, as a person, as an individual.

 For me, I have several of these moments. The first was as a teenager when I realized I needed to be myself, to be true to ME, and to not worry about what other people thought. It's MY life, I control my own destiny, mostly. I quit worrying about fancy shoes and clothes, and started worrying more about things like motocross racing, my close friends, having fun, and deciding I never wanted to "grow up" all the way, to not lose that childhood freedom and innocence.

 The second was my marriage and having children. That's a big one that utterly redefines a man (or should) as your life becomes less important and you share experiences with your family that you can get no other way. I may not always have been the best husband or father, and I continue to try to be better at it, and I will continue evolving this definition until I live no more.

 When I crashed my brains out riding motocross and broke multiple big things in my body 8 years ago, I had another life change, one in which I realized the enormity of my injuries, and how much worse it could have been. I know people that have died doing what I was doing, that were paralyzed, lost children to it. But I survived, I got fixed up, and I recovered. It made me stronger, it made me realize how tough we can be. Motocrossers are some of the toughest people out there.

 Some people call the next event a "mid-life crisis", and they think they need to go and buy a sports car, a boat, a new house, a new wife, etc., this generally happens around the 39-45 year old range. Well, I decided at 38 I wanted a bright red sports sedan, and it wasn't too expensive, so I got it under the pretense it was a "family" car (after all, it had 4 doors). I chalked the purchase up to my own middle aged crisis, and got over it, although I still have my car and plan on giving it to my son when he turns 16.

 At 42 years old, I was diagnosed with kidney cancer, and let me tell you, that was the biggest defining moment yet in my life. My mortality came around, smacking me in the face pimp style, and I was forced to examine my life in a new light. What do I do, what can I do, how do I go on with this, what plans do I need to make for my family, etc., there are thousands of new thoughts and emotions that came and went, and I struggled with them at first. I cried, I was mad, I was confused, all the new emotions were a heavy burden. But yet, I started forming The Plan again, a plan to continue on, to LIVE, to not let cancer define what I can or can't do, to not let it define WHO I am. So what, I have cancer...what am I going to do, lay down, curl up in a ball and whine myself to the death bed? Or am I going to get mad, change what I can to help me survive longer and stronger, to make the most of what I have right now?

 I decided to live. I decide to continue. I decide to redefine myself and be better and stronger, to not let this disease define me. After all, we are dying from the moment we are born, what we do in between the beginning and the end is what matters. Like the phoenix, I arise from the ashes and choose to become something greater than myself, to become something I never thought I would or could do. I still don't know if I can, and I have a long ways to go, but the journey is what lies before me.

 My next defining moment, is to become an Ironman, with my family and friends by my side, I think I have a pretty good chance of making it happen. Committing to even try an Ironman is a defining moment in itself.

 What is your defining moment?