I remember the days of getting up early on Saturday morning, drinking a cup of coffee, getting dressed, and then heading out for a long run ~12-15 miles...seeing the sun rise, as I was on the last 3 or 4 miles. Beautiful, and peaceful. I miss those times, those reflections I had upon myself, my life...the solitude of the world around me, before the rest of the world arose and started the busy, ant like, frantic pace of doing "things" and acquiring "stuff". Running alone, early in the morning, has a way of letting me get inside my self, letting my mind be examined, asking myself why I do these things...why do I run.
The simple answer is...freedom. Freedom from the The Job...freedom from bills, paperwork, schedules. Running is like being a child again, when we ran because we could, because we had no other cares, because it was fun. It's even deeper than that. Running is something you just have to experience at a level that is right for you, and you alone. Perhaps every runner has a different experience, perhaps there is a common ground we all share, but to be sure, you cannot know it unless you have done it.
I find myself digging out my old running clothes, getting my things ready. My 13yr old son is going to join me in the morning at 6:30am for my first "official" run, the run that starts my rebuilding, my transformation, my journey to Becoming Ironman. I only hope I can stay the course, be tough enough in mind and body, to complete this task.
So it begins...
Friday, May 24, 2013
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
My Goal To Be an IRONMAN Begins...The Transformation.
I am 223lbs...way out of shape (is "soft" a shape?). I have not ran for almost a year, other than a few scattered 2-3 milers. I have previously ran 3 half marathons and 2 marathons. I know how to get in shape, I just chose to let myself lose it.
I was diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma on 11-27-12, and had my entire right kidney removed on 12-4-12. I feel really good right now as far as the surgery recovery, it is a pretty invasive and let me tell you, it takes longer than I thought to get back to baseline.
My reasons to try for an Ironman?
1) I want to give the big FUCK YOU to cancer. My first checkup is on 6-13-13, just after my 43rd birthday. I plan on being clear still, but who knows. I am not going to wait around for it to come back, I am not going to worry about it coming back. If it does, I will deal with it then, all I can do is get healthy, eat right, and try to minimize the possibility of it returning. So right now, I choose to just LIVE. I will not let the fear of cancer determine what I can or cannot do.
2) Who knows IF I will be able to do an Ironman later in life. I am only getting older, and IF cancer returns, I may not get the chance to be an Ironman.
3) My brother is a 2 time Ironman, and I want him to be proud of me. He is the reason I started running in the first place, and I am continuously amazed at his determination and toughness. This one is for you, bro.
4) I want to show my children the meaning of "I Can", and not let them say "I can't". I have seen a 67 year old woman with a prosthetic leg finish an Ironman. I have seen blind people become transcendant from their lack of sight and become an Ironman. I OWE it to myself, my family, to do the same.
I think I know how to be tough. I raced motocross for 15 years. I have broken many bones, several concussions, I have titanium parts inside my femur from 2004 when I shattered it, among some other things. I think I will find out how tough I can be. I am man, and I control my own destiny, if there is such a thing. I expect to cry and laugh, probably both at the same time, during my journey to train my body and my mind for the 140.6 miles I will encounter on a hot, humid day on May 17th, 2014. I expect to cry when and if I cross the finish line. I can't say for sure that I WILL finish, but I'll be damned if I don't try. I will be better for trying and losing, than for never having tried. But I tell you this...I EXPECT to become an Ironman on that day.
There will be more to come, I will chronicle my training, my feelings, my experiences, on this blog. The writing style will be varied, sometimes a stream of consciousness, sometimes straight facts, and I am sure I will post some of my philosophical meanderings. So be it. Let the Transformation begin!
I was diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma on 11-27-12, and had my entire right kidney removed on 12-4-12. I feel really good right now as far as the surgery recovery, it is a pretty invasive and let me tell you, it takes longer than I thought to get back to baseline.
My reasons to try for an Ironman?
1) I want to give the big FUCK YOU to cancer. My first checkup is on 6-13-13, just after my 43rd birthday. I plan on being clear still, but who knows. I am not going to wait around for it to come back, I am not going to worry about it coming back. If it does, I will deal with it then, all I can do is get healthy, eat right, and try to minimize the possibility of it returning. So right now, I choose to just LIVE. I will not let the fear of cancer determine what I can or cannot do.
2) Who knows IF I will be able to do an Ironman later in life. I am only getting older, and IF cancer returns, I may not get the chance to be an Ironman.
3) My brother is a 2 time Ironman, and I want him to be proud of me. He is the reason I started running in the first place, and I am continuously amazed at his determination and toughness. This one is for you, bro.
4) I want to show my children the meaning of "I Can", and not let them say "I can't". I have seen a 67 year old woman with a prosthetic leg finish an Ironman. I have seen blind people become transcendant from their lack of sight and become an Ironman. I OWE it to myself, my family, to do the same.
I think I know how to be tough. I raced motocross for 15 years. I have broken many bones, several concussions, I have titanium parts inside my femur from 2004 when I shattered it, among some other things. I think I will find out how tough I can be. I am man, and I control my own destiny, if there is such a thing. I expect to cry and laugh, probably both at the same time, during my journey to train my body and my mind for the 140.6 miles I will encounter on a hot, humid day on May 17th, 2014. I expect to cry when and if I cross the finish line. I can't say for sure that I WILL finish, but I'll be damned if I don't try. I will be better for trying and losing, than for never having tried. But I tell you this...I EXPECT to become an Ironman on that day.
There will be more to come, I will chronicle my training, my feelings, my experiences, on this blog. The writing style will be varied, sometimes a stream of consciousness, sometimes straight facts, and I am sure I will post some of my philosophical meanderings. So be it. Let the Transformation begin!
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